Get Her Words Out

Um. . . Brr?

But it's pretty . . .

I miss preaching

I came away from church today very much aware of the fact that I miss preaching, not because it was a bad sermon, but just because I love preaching so much.

It's been more than a year now since I preached in a worship service (I preached twice in a class this spring).

Nobody seems much interested in having me do supply preaching and even when I'm visiting my home church there's always some reason why I can't preach that week.

I think that for a lot of my classmates at seminary no preaching for a year would make them happy, but much of the reason I went to seminary was to be able to preach more.

All of my life I have envied people with talents like singing, dancing, or playing instruments.  I have had serious guitar envy for years.*  Preaching is the only thing I've ever done in my life that has made me feel like how I imagine a great singer feels when she's singing. 

In "Will Rogers Follies"  there's a line in a song, "the spotlight hits me/the spotlight fits me."  The pulpit fits me.

I don't mean to say that it is about performing, or the recognition that comes from preaching,  but rather, when I am preaching I feel more alive, more vital than I do at any other time.  I really hope that it's no too much longer before I get to feel that way again.

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*when a group of people gathers for some casual worship, guitar players are in serious demand.  Preachers?  Not so much.  I have always felt bad on those occasions that I don't have a gift to offer.

Back

After a great weekend in hanging out with friends in Atlanta and Montgomery, I flew back to Colorado yesterday.

I've been so well supported, by friends in person, by email and by comments on this blog that it is hard for me to feel too terribly bad about the presbytery's decision.

That being said, there are still things that bubble up and really make me angry.  I think the thing that bothers me the most is that with all the people saying how my advancing in the ordination process was a violation of the Book of Order, no one from the committee or anywhere else stood up and said "No, it is not."

It wouldn't have made any difference, the people who believe that I'm in violation of the BOO also seem to be capable of believing that I'm guilty of almost anything else.  But, it would have been nice to have someone on the record saying that the violations exist only in the fevered imaginations of those who are against my ordination.

Defenestrated

Well, not really, there were no windows involved, but the intent was there.

By a thirty-plus vote margin, I am no longer under the care of the Presbytery of Sheppards and Lapsley.

There was some debate on the floor, and some people said some very nice things about me, but it seemed pretty clear that this was a done deal before the meeting ever started and nothing anyone had to say was going to change anything.

During the course of the debate a minister got up to speak in favor of kicking me out, his rational being "if you don't, my church will leave the denomination."  I think the thing that the presbytery is going to regret in the future is that they have set the precedent that ecclesial blackmail works.  It seems that all you have to do to get your way is threaten them that your going to take you ball and go home.  I'll be interested to find out what the next "if you don't do this, we're leaving" thing will be.

I'm going to take the rest of the weekend as sabbath with my community here in Atlanta and with my home church in Montgomery.  I fly back to Colorado Monday afternoon, and I'll start working on next steps on Tuesday.

To be fair. . .

I have heard more from the CPM meeting and it is not as bleak as it seemed on Sunday.

A better description of their decision might be to say that they have decided to let the presbytery decide.

Which I think is fair, and good polity.

So I'm feeling much better about Thursday's meeting than I was a couple of days ago.

Best address ever

I was working tonight and the address on one of the records was "Pointless Forest Trail, Annapolis, Maryland"

I don't know if it's the forest or the trail that's pointless, but I want to live there.

Wishing I was still waiting

I learned today, unofficially, that the CPM did not feel that my session's unanimous support was a sufficient reason to change their decision to recommend that I be removed from the presbytery's roll of inquirers.  I don't know why they couldn't have told us that five days ago.

So, I'm back to where I was a month ago. 

I guess I have to start shopping for a new CPM.

Any recommendations?

Still Waiting

Today (Friday) was supposed to be the deadline for the CPM to get back to the session of my home church.

So far, no word.

Apparently, the Chair of the CPM's office tried to fax something to the church on Tuesday, but the church's fax machine wasn't working.  There's been no other contact to this point.

The presbytery meeting at which all this is supposed to be talked about is next Thursday, but right now I don't know if I'm going to defend my self against being dropped from the rolls, to be examined for candidacy or for no reason at all.

It's times like this that you wish you could get refunds on plane tickets.

Waiting

Last Friday, the minister of my home church, Immanuel Presbyterian, hand delivered a letter to the chair of the CPM and to the presbytery exec that included the following:

The session of Immanuel has unanimously agreed to request that the CPM reconsider its decision and that the the CPM re-present Meghan Foote for candidacy.

The CPM met on Monday, and now we just have to wait to find out how they decided to respond.