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I made it home, so I'm done with driving long distances for a while, at least until I have to drive to Denver tomorrow.

I'm feeling lost, although not much more lost than I felt before all this happened; it's not like I knew where I was going before.

The CPM gave me a choice at the end of the meeting, I can go to the November 16 presbytery meeting where the CPM's recommendation will be acted on and speak on my own behalf; or sometime before now and then I can submit what amounts to a letter of resignation.

At first I thought the choice was between having it appear that I was fired or that I left voluntarily.  But the more I think about it, the more it seems like a choice between going "quietly into that good night," and standing up for myself and saying that they can't just get away with this without paying some price.  I think they at least need to stand before the whole presbytery and say explicitly what their "sufficient reason"* is for terminating our covenant relationship.

I'm still trying to get hold of some people to get their advice about where to go from here.  Among other things, I guess I need to start limiting my job search to presbyteries that might be more willing to listen for the movement of the Holy Spirit.

* The Constitution of the Presbyterian Church (USA), Part II, The Book of Order, G-14.0312:

An inquirer or candidate may, after consultation with the session and the committee on preparation for ministry, withdraw from covenant relationship. Upon receiving such a request transmitted through the committee on preparation for ministry, the stated clerk
shall remove the individual’s name from the roll of inquirers or candidates and report the removal to presbytery. A presbytery may also, for sufficient reasons, remove an individual’s name from the roll of inquirers or candidates, reporting this action and the reasons to the session, to the individual, and, if appropriate, to the educational institution in which the individual is enrolled. In both instances, prior to final action, the committee on preparation for ministry shall make a reasonable attempt to give the inquirer or candidate and other parties of interest an opportunity to be heard by
that committee. The presbytery may arrange for the continued guidance and support of those who withdraw or are removed from the roll of inquirers or candidates. [emphasis mine]

Comments

[Mark]

I think it comes down to this: Do you want to make waves here that may be heard elsewhere, or do you want to retire quietly and press forward where your way is not blocked?

Do you want to be the poster child for a cause, or do you just want to move forward with your plans?

I support you in whichever you decide, and I'll be praying for you.

[Stewart]

This is a sad outcome, given what you are prepared to offer to the church. Whether you resign or they remove you, the result would be that if you wish to pursue ordained service in the PCUSA, you would have to start the preparation for ministry process over from the beginning perhaps in some other presbytery.

You'll be in my prayers.