We had a paper due in Pastoral Care class this week on family systems and what role we play in our family’s system.
I was pretty much stumped until I found this description:
“Adjuster” - “Lost Child”
This child escapes by attempting to be invisible. They daydream, fantasize, read a lot of books or watch a lot of TV. They deal with reality by withdrawing from it. They deny that they have any feelings and “don’t bother getting upset.”
These children grow up to be adults who find themselves unable to feel and suffer very low self-esteem. They are terrified of intimacy and often have relationship phobia. They are very withdrawn and shy and become socially isolated because that is the only way they know to be safe from being hurt. A lot of actors and writers are ‘lost children’ who have found a way to express emotions while hiding behind their characters. (1)
Except for the becoming an actor part (and there are people who would say becoming a preacher is the same thing) it’s like they’ve been following me around taking notes.
This is another case where it’s comforting to find out that I am not nearly as unique as I have always imagined myself to be.
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(1) Burney, Robert, The Basic Roles in Dysfunctional Families (Posted here April 8, 2000)
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